The decision over whether to stay together or break up can be complicated.  How do you truly decide what is best?  Do you take advice from your mother?  Your friends?  What about what your heart says?  Some things are important to remember when you are trying to decide for sure.

First, did you get together with the sole purpose in mind of creating the perfect man or woman?  Did you really have the idea that you could change the person into the perfect match for you?  This can go both ways, men try to change women, and women do actually try to change men.  I realize this may be a shock to some but it does occur at times.  A lot more than you may think actually.  Some women and men have the often subconscious thoughts that if they just change a few small things about their boyfriend or girlfriend that they will be perfect.  Their thoughts are not always realized until it is too late, but you should never try to change someone for the sole purpose of being together.  That tends to be very unsuccessful overall. 

Have you tried counseling?  Some people underestimate the power of counseling.  Yes you have to tell a complete stranger your inner most secrets, but if you truly love the person and want to work out your problems it is sometimes best to explore this option.  Never be afraid to shop around when looking for someone to work with.  You should both feel comfortable with the therapist that is selected, you would not want to be in the room with a therapist who you were convinced took your partners side on everything and neither will they.  You should both be comfortable and happy with the selection and willing to change if something happens and you or your partner suddenly start to feel uncomfortable. 

Do you find yourself sad and upset more and more?  If so then perhaps before calling it quits, you should spend a few hours, days, or even weeks apart.  A weekend trip to a special place for some relaxation without the stress of normal everyday life may be just the ticket to help you clear your head and regain a clear picture of the situation.  You might find it best to take this time away from your partner, or you may desire to take this time with your partner and away from all other problems.  Either way the choice is up to you, if a trip together does not go well, then opt for another trip solo so you can really think.

Do you have kids?  If you have kids, the root of your problems may lie in the kids themselves.  Do you do nothing but fight because of the kids?  For example, if you and your partner constantly butt heads on parenting issues, that can spill over into your relationship with each other, and can over time cause huge problems.   While this may not seem fair, it is the result of tension building up over time.