As most parents can truly attest to, your sex life as a parent tends to go downhill a bit.  The reasons why range from hormonal changes, to exhaustion and almost everything in between.  However, parents need time together to bond and enjoy each other, otherwise there are more fights and arguments, and the argument over little Suzie’s haircut has nothing to do with her hair, and more to do with each other’s frustration. 

New parents especially get caught in this little trap that tells them that all of their waking hours and sleeping hours belong to their new baby.  Their whole life revolves around making sure baby is 100% happy all day long.  This translates into new parents who focus on their child more than their spouse, or partner.  While your child is important, parents must also remember that their child needs to see their parents as happy, healthy, and emotionally adjusted adults.  Your child is not going to be emotionally scarred for life if you give your spouse some attention while they are sleeping. 

I am going to list a few suggestion that help people rekindle that romantic flame, as well as keep that flame burning.  No one has ever said parenting was easy; however, there is no reason why you cannot successfully maintain a happy, active, and healthy sex life as a parent.

Tip #1.  Sleep.  Yes I said sleep, how many times when your children were younger did you just growl at your partner when they were trying to give an innocent massage because you were too tired?  I know I have a few times, it is normal not to feel affectionate when you are running on a mere 2 hours of sleep.  Try to catch up on sleep so you are not so exhausted and tired.  Trust me, as the kids get older sleep is just as important to your physical health.  As they get older, they still need supervision and suddenly their activities will start to cut into your time even more, which will make you tired from driving them around everywhere.  Sleep should be one of your best friends. 

Tip #2.  Dinner alone.  At least once a month bare minimum my husband and I feed our kids dinner by themselves and eat ourselves much later in the night after they are in bed.  This gives us the ability to have a nice quiet adult meal, with no macaroni being thrown across the table, and no begging a child to set their milk away from the edge of the table.  Some adult time is very important and necessary to keep the spark alive.

Tip #3.  Do something special for your special someone.  My husband at times when he knows I am stressed will go run a bubble bath, or give me a massage, which are both sweet ways of helping me reduce my stress level and wind down.  Being much more relaxed always has the benefit of helping get in the mood for more adult play. 

Tip #4.  Look your best.  While many work from home people love the fact they can lounge around in their pj’s all day, you should still fight to avoid this urge.  Make sure you look nice all the time, even if it just means taking a shower and getting dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.  Make sure you look good and your partner will notice, and appreciate it. 

Tip #5.  If all else fails, schedule time!  I know that sounds horrible but if your schedules never mix due to working opposite shifts, then you need drastic measures to keep your relationship active.  Schedule time with each other and do not break that appointment no matter what.  That is your time to devote to each other, even if sex is not involved, you will still be able to enjoy each other’s company and keep your bond strong.