While the legal system leaves, unwed fathers in a strange position there are some things that can be done.  Here are some great tips and suggestions on how to make the best of a potentially bad situation.

Tip #1.  Do not scream and act immature.  This is the time where you son needs a good example.  More teenage boys duck out on parenthood than teenage mothers.  Your son is fighting against the odds when he finds out he could be a father, he needs your support to become a man quickly.  Each boy must quickly grow into a man so that he can successfully help the mother of his child raise the baby to be happy, healthy, and well adjusted. 

Tip #2.  Find out all of the laws for your state on unwed paternity situations.  This can be something as simple as just signing a birth certificate, or could also require signing an affidavit of paternity.  Neither of which a minor child can sign alone, you should not allow your son to sign a birth certificate or affidavit of paternity until a paternity test has been completed.  These can be obtained for as little as $125 from numerous companies online.  The reasons for being so careful are, more children are promiscuous now than before, many times the girl honestly does not realize that the boy she suspects is the father really isn’t, this can create huge issues later after your son has become attached to the child, much less the child support and visitation issues.  If necessary to ensure you help your son make the best decision consult with a family law attorney in your area who specializes in paternity cases to get the best legal advice possible. 

Tip #3.  While your son is under no legal obligation to help the mother until there is a child support order, you should help encourage your son to still step up to the plate and assist the mother in gathering all the supplies the baby will need.  Babies are not cheap, they require army’s worth of supplies as well as clothing, formula, and there are likely to be numerous expenses for medical reasons.  If your son does not, already have a job, it would be a good idea to encourage him to get a job, he needs to be responsible for his own financial portion of the child.  Do not allow your son to have you paying his debts for him, he must learn responsibility. 

Tip #4.  Realize that while your opinion is valuable, your son and the mother must work out an agreement in terms of child support, visitation, custody and the parenting plan.  If they choose something complex that involves your son spending hours of time with the child then encourage him to take the time.  Help him realize that he can be a great and successful father.  One important point to remember is that while you are helping your son, the mother has her parents helping her.  Try to keep your distance and allow the young parents to make their own decisions unless they specifically ask your help.

Tip #5.  Make friends with the mother’s family.  They are going to be a part of your lives and you should set a good example and make sure you are helping keep the lines of communication open and flowing.  While some disagreements are likely to erupt, you need to be willing to be a good example and try to help make the situation better.  Remember that while you are also likely to be upset by the pregnancy, the parents of the mother are also highly likely to be upset, especially since it will be their house where the baby is the most until it is at least a few months old.  This can cause a huge strain and will take some work and patience to get past. 

Tip #6.  Parenting classes are a great idea for all new parents, especially teenage parents who are still children themselves.  There are even classes that are geared towards teen parents, that help them deal with some of the barriers that they will likely encounter in this experience.  It would also be a good idea to encourage your son to attend the classes with the mother, especially since it is ultimately her that he will be working with the most. 

Do not view a teenage pregnancy as a disaster, instead think of the positives that the child will bring.  While there will be struggles and difficulties in the ordeal, it can be made easier or harder depending upon how you help your son.  If you make a huge issue out of everything then it will seem like a complete disaster.  If you look at the positive sides then it will be much easier and things can go much smoother with the new addition to your family.