Your worst thoughts have come true.  Your teenage daughter has come home and told you after much hiding that she is pregnant.  What are you possibly supposed to do?  How can you act like a mature, rational adult when you just want to scream and cry?   What should you do to help your daughter make the best of her life.

Tip #1. Stay calm. Yelling, screaming and name calling will not help anyone or anything.  How you treat your daughter now can have a huge effect on how your daughter treats her child. 

Tip #2.  Look for teenage parenting classes.  Your daughter is going to need as much help as possible from as many sources as possible.  If possible include the baby's father.

Tip #3.  A job should be required, your daughter needs to learn responsibility for herself as well as her child.  A job is a great place for her to start so she can pay for most of the equipment the baby needs herself.  You should not bear the financial burden for the baby.  Helping with some of the equipment because you choose to do so is your choice, but should not be expected.

Tip #4.  Encourage your daughter and the baby's father to start building a strong parenting relationship.  The sooner they come to accept each other the better off they will be.  They must work together for the next 18 years and should build a good co-parenting relationship with each other.

Tip #5.  Start helping your daughter decide how she can finish school while being pregnant or even after the baby is born.  I once worked with a 17 year old girl who was determined she was going to college  and she was taking her baby with her.  That girl was an inspiration to me, her daughter was a little over a year old and as a teenage mother she was finishing school, planning her graduation, working a part time job, as well as running track.  That however was not all, she was also in the school band, this girl was trying her best to get a scholarship to help cover college.  All this while working with the babies father to be successful.

Tip #6.  Try to establish a good rapport with the father's  parents.  Since both are likely to be minors they will need the help of both parents, especially with legal matters and the birth certificate.  It will make things much smoother if all parents keep an open line of communication.  Take this as an opportunity to teach your child responsibility.  Even if you dislike the father's family you should start getting in the habit of biting your tongue.  The young parents need encouragement not stress and fighting. 

Tip #7.  Start encouraging the young parents to work out a parenting plan.  Remember that while you and the father's parents are free to voice opinions it is ultimately their decision.  Most young parents will need some help getting a practical schedule worked out, but remember to be encouraging and positive. 

Teenage mother's need your help, they do not need parents freaking out and throwing them out of the house.  Remember that the "damage" is already done, now is time for decisions and guidance.  Remember that while assisting your daughter the biggest need she has is love, understanding, and good medical care for her and the baby.